I’ve been traveling solo for more than 25 years, and it’s given me some of the most rewarding experiences of my life. But was I afraid at first? Absolutely!
I was sort of a late bloomer–I didn’t take my first solo trip until I was 35. After I moved from Florida to Colorado, I suddenly had access to some of the most amazing scenery in the world. So, I spent several years doing road trips by myself all around the Southwest and Rocky Mountains. And that’s when I grew to love the freedom of solo travel.
Eventually, I decided to challenge myself and do something extreme: I took my dream trip to New Zealand and the Cook Islands in the South Pacific. Although I had gotten comfortable doing road trips by myself to places like Utah, New Mexico, and Wyoming, this was the first time I was going so far away. To the other side of the planet.
Fighting the Fear
Saying that I had a lot of fear about this month-long trip is a major understatement. In the weeks leading up to my departure, I would lie awake at night thinking of all the things that could go wrong. How would I deal with being alone for so long? What if I couldn’t handle driving on the left side of the road? What if all the backpacker lodges I stayed at were filled with 20-somethings who stared at me like their mom just entered the room?
I tried to put the fears out of my mind by focusing on planning my lodging and activities, but the struggle was real. A week before I left, I had a dream that I fell off a steep cliff into the ocean in the Cook Islands. My brain was translating all my fears into a single traumatic event: You’re going to the other side of the world by yourself? Well, that’s scary—you’re probably going to fall off a cliff!
But here’s the funny thing. Once I was actually there and traveling around, I was too busy to be afraid. In fact, all my fears started to seem kind of, well, ridiculous. I have a distinct memory of driving my rental car on the left side in New Zealand and thinking, “What the hell was I scared of?” I literally had heart palpitations as I drove off the rental car lot and got into the left lane. But it took me exactly one day to feel 100% comfortable with it.
I had all the doubts and fears that many of you probably have. But guess what? None of the things I feared came to pass. In fact, it was a life-changing adventure. I met lots of interesting and friendly people, and I learned that I was capable of so much more than I thought I was. I even had dinner with a group of those 20-somethings one evening, and none of them called me mom.
Since that trip, I’ve traveled to Alaska, Kauai, Maui, the Big Island, Bermuda, and all around the western US (AZ, CO, NM, UT, and WY). I even did a return trip to New Zealand three years after the first one. And I can’t tell you how many times I’ve met women who ask me: “How do you have the courage to venture off alone?”
Here are some of the most common questions I get asked about solo travel:
Don’t you get bored?
It always makes me chuckle when people ask me if traveling alone is boring. ARE YOU KIDDING ME? To answer that question, I’ll just summarize a few of my experiences as a solo traveler. I got “stuck” in the middle of a South Pacific lagoon in the Cook Islands when the tour boat motor died. I swam with fur seals off the coast of Kaikoura on the South Island of New Zealand. And I rappelled down a 110-foot sandstone cliff in Moab, Utah.
If you think any of that sounds boring, then you’ve obviously lived a more exciting life than I have. And even if you’re not really into adventurous activities, I still promise—you won’t get bored. One of the most memorable moments I’ve ever had was sitting on the beach in Rarotonga (Cook Islands) at night. As I looked up at the clear, star-filled sky, I realized that I was on this tiny little speck of land in the middle of the vast Pacific Ocean. Boring? Definitely not.
Don’t you hate eating alone?
I personally have never had any issues eating out alone. The only time I can remember feeling a bit weird was having dinner at a restaurant on Kauai that catered mostly to honeymooners.
I do understand, though, that some people just really don’t like the idea of sitting at a table by themselves. But here’s the thing: eating alone is almost always pretty uneventful and stress-free. Despite what it feels like, nobody is staring at you or wondering why you’re by yourself.
I’ve actually met some nice people while dining alone. Like the time in New Zealand when a couple at the next table invited me to have a glass of wine with them and told me about local places to see. Even if you prefer to keep to yourself in restaurants, mealtimes are the perfect opportunity to sit and browse through guidebooks, maps, or blogs on your phone. You can also sit at the bar or counter, where you’re less likely to feel awkward.
Do you ever feel unsafe?
Safety is definitely an important consideration when traveling solo. I certainly could feel unsafe if I allowed myself to get into questionable situations, which I don’t. I don’t go on remote hikes by myself where I’m unlikely to see other people. When planning my trip, I do tons of research including reading guidebooks and blogs and talking to people who have been there. The bottom line: use common sense. Don’t walk around alone after dark. Research the places you’re visiting, including both the location and the lodging. And most importantly, trust your gut. If I get a bad vibe or a weird feeling about a person or place, I leave.
You’re never too old to start your solo travel
All this is to say, if you’ve always thought about taking a trip alone, don’t hesitate. And don’t let your fears get in the way. It’s completely normal to be afraid of doing something that’s out of your comfort zone. But most of the time, we build things up in our minds to be way worse than they really are.
The truth is, I haven’t bungy-jumped in New Zealand, or backpacked around Europe, or traveled as a nomad for year. Solo travel doesn’t have to be extreme. It can be whatever you make it—a travel style that suits you and that you feel comfortable with. Doing solo travel to the other side of the world gave my travel confidence a huge boost. In fact, I got to the point where I couldn’t imagine traveling any other way. And if I can do it, so can you!
Images and text ©Laurie J. Schmidt, All Rights Reserved
